Week Sixteen Power Rankings

My title as Field Vision’s official power ranker was given to me by the powers that be, but I’ll assume the role as official “take merchant.” During our weekly meetings, I reckon my suggestions come the furthest from left field, but I’d like to think I bring some balance to the force that is Field Vision. My ridiculousness is generally distilled by the cold-hearted, yet calculated pragmatism from the rest of the staff, but the late great Mike Leach delivered a quote I live by.

 “Once in a while, a pirate can beat a soldier.”

 Nearly a month ago, our CEO, Scott “The Michael Scott of Field Vision Sports” Bouska and I placed a gentlemen’s wager on the result of the Detroit Lions-Buffalo Bills matchup. Ahead of the Rams-Bills tilt, I momentarily switched my financial allegiance from Buffalo to Los Angeles to transition the wager into personal parlay. In this year’s two highest scoring games, this pirate prevailed.

In my entire sports media career, I have never been known to gloat for 20 radio minutes or celebrate for an entire Power Rankings intro or make my colleagues (or even superiors) excruciatingly aware of my knowledge and passion for the “game.” I am simply too professional for that.

Not to be melodramatic, but Scott’s Venmo notification hitting my phone was the first time I felt alive in a really long time. Satisfaction isn’t the perfect word for this occasion, despite its fitness for the situation.

The quote I would like to use for this particular situation comes from one of television’s greatest works of art, The Simpsons, and one of their more forgettable characteers, Nelson Muntz.

 It goes a little something like this, “ha, ha!”

Any who, here’s where the rest of the league stands:

Out of Rankings: None

Honorable Mention(s): Washington Commanders & Arizona Cardinals

 10. Pittsburgh Steelers (Previous ranking: 6)

The Steelers are a better version of themselves from the last few seasons. When Big Ben retired, a plus-sized hole was left at the most important position while few of the other roster spots barely deteriorated. Even in their elevated era, Pittsburgh still is chicken noodle soup compared to the crème de la crème of our league. Chicken noodle soup is wonderful and hearty, but no one has it at their wedding buffet. Without George Pickens, the Steelers’ already limited offensive talent completely diminished against the Eagles, proving what we all kind of knew, the Steelers are good, just not that good.

9. Denver Broncos (Previous ranking: 9)

If Jonathan Taylor’s hands were to work for a nanosecond longer, Denver’s chances within the game and the playoff picture would have dramatically changed. Bo Nix struggled early and exposed why some believe he has already met his ceiling. Anthony Richardson’s inability to throw even a 98-mile-an-hour fastball (his insistence is on triple digits only) delivered the game on a silver platter. The blowout’s appearance is a bit deceiving, but it happened, nonetheless.

8. Los Angeles Rams (Previous ranking: 10)

Matthew Stafford and Sean McVay are the last coach-quarterback combo to win a Super Bowl outside of Kansas City, so their reflection of last season’s midnight hour miracles shouldn’t be a full surprise. The NFC West is still up for grabs and a home playoff game should be appetizing for Los Angeles with Seattle finally stumbling for the first time in a month. The Rams defense is not good, but they do have young playmakers from the last two drafts tallying sacks and turnovers when the time calls. With the most tenured coach brain trust in the conference, the Rams should be real contenders to come out of it.

7. Baltimore Ravens (Previous ranking: 8)

The Ravens dominating the Giants was as predictable as the end of Death of a Salesman. Lamar Jackson is firmly in the MVP discussion, but the win proved very little. We know that the Ravens can blow just about anybody out, aligning them with the Lions, but their defense can lose them a game in an instant, comparing them to their division foes, Cincy. The Ravens will probably have to be on the road for their entire playoff run, but they have the firepower to kill and backfire equally.

(CBS Sports)

6. Green Bay Packers (Previous ranking: 7)

The Packers placement at #6 is probably perfect, being that they haven’t been able to successfully and consistently be considered truly elite. They have suffered losses to Philadelphia, Detroit, and Minnesota, all teams ahead of them in the NFC. On Sunday night, Green Bay showed that they can beat anybody else being that Seattle may still make the tournament and were sliced-and-diced. The Packers are like the super tall kid in middle school. Once we all hit 5’5”, he wasn’t that cool anymore.

5. Minnesota Vikings (Previous ranking: 4)

Kevin O’Connell and Kwesi Adofo-Mensah modernized the Vikings after the Zimmer-Spielman regime, but even their strongest believers would not have expected this season. With Detroit dropping one and another defensive player to injury, the NFC might run through the Bank in just a few weeks. Brian Flores’ heat-seeking defense adds another wrinkle to a defense without true superstars. Sam Darnold is brainwashing most people into thinking he will be worth $45+ million this coming offseason, while Justin Jefferson is stacking more Hall-of-Fame worthy seasons. The Vikings are real and their legitimacy may prove itself when lower seed NFC teams feel the wrath of 100,000 Minnesotans clapping together (on the same beat) which is a shock for that region of the country.

4. Detroit Lions (Previous ranking: 1)

Ending the NFC North log jam, the Lions keep losing defensive players to injuries ever since Aidan Hutchinson’s snapping. Jared Goff has continued to put doubters to rest and will be on the MVP podium. The Lions’ defense already struggled prior to the cavalcade of tears and sprains but may end their season. Dan Campbell’s folksy obsession with risk could also bring more devastation to a team and city that knows the feeling well. Over the next few weeks, the Lions must fortify Ford Field as the foremost football facility in the league to keep their New Orleans dreams strong.

3. Philadelphia Eagles (Previous ranking: 3)

Many believe the Eagles are the best team standing ahead of the playoffs. Last week’s fallout (despite the win) starred the offense’s ignored diva AJ Brown. He was appeased while the potential MVP, Saquon Barkley, was silenced. Philadelphia broke from their identity as a tough, gritty team like their city to air it out in the Pennsylvania State Championship. Another internal clash between Nick Sirianni, defensive line coach Clint Hurtt, and young defensive tackle Jalen Carter may create another week’s worth of media maelstrom, but they may be just good enough to not give a damn.

2. Buffalo Bills (Previous ranking: 5)

Josh Allen won most publications’ MVP award by slapping the mess out of the Lions’ defense. Buffalo has distilled all of the saturation of Stefon Diggs and Allen’s turnovers to the purity of all of Josh’s brilliance. The offense’s stat-stacking has been matched by the dam release from the defense. McDermott and Babich have organized a strong defense with performances from energetic younger players just earlier this season, so I expect them to figure something out in the next few weeks against the easiest part of their schedule.

(Associated Press)

1. Kansas City Chiefs (Previous ranking: 2)

The Chiefs are allergic to not having football-related controversy. Kansas City trades the silliness of in-season, chemistry issues for the dignification of putting the quarterback’s lower body at risk when up two scores against a three-win Cleveland team with Jameis Winston under center. The fact that Mahomes was still pouting like a junior varsity superstar over not getting in the game during the same week of the De’Vondre Campbell story should prove why the league is so lucky to have him, but the Chiefs clearly don’t recognize the blessing. Andy Reid has ignored the run game until the final quarter for the last month, pressurizing each succeeding series and play. Even with the injury, the defense’s return to prominence was a welcome sight with their rare 6 takeaway performance.

Biggest Mover(s): Pittsburgh Steelers (down 4 spots) & Buffalo Bills (up 3 spots)

New Appearance(s): None

Net success Rate of each game in Week 15.